I feel like abortions should bother me more
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
