insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
