You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize