apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.