Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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