It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
