who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?