Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane http://tfl.nu/flz9
  Replies (4) Good night (771) Bad night (510)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear. http://tfl.nu/d8gq
  Replies (31) Good night (863) Bad night (11232)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo http://tfl.nu/tgva
  Replies (38) Good night (795) Bad night (4652)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year http://tfl.nu/ku2e
  Replies (58) Good night (8133) Bad night (1841)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (626): It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/eowy
  Replies (17) Good night (6704) Bad night (824)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives? http://tfl.nu/s936
  Replies (22) Good night (3677) Bad night (936)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories" http://tfl.nu/n295
  Replies (4) Good night (1640) Bad night (598)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (386): he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it http://tfl.nu/bfv6
  Replies (16) Good night (1865) Bad night (1268)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you. http://tfl.nu/c03k
  Replies (9) Good night (2340) Bad night (888)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Technically my penis started a fight tonight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): Technically my penis started a fight tonight http://tfl.nu/2ets
  Replies (14) Good night (1248) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit. http://tfl.nu/208i
  Replies (10) Good night (1477) Bad night (1011)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes http://tfl.nu/9ioy
  Replies (2) Good night (1086) Bad night (313)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding? http://tfl.nu/hdxw
  Replies (4) Good night (1121) Bad night (522)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message. http://tfl.nu/tlvz
  Replies (1) Good night (574) Bad night (272)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf (337): OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD. http://tfl.nu/09h0
  Replies (1) Good night (296) Bad night (850)

Randomize