Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"

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  (513): i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway" http://tfl.nu/kkqr
  Replies (25) Good night (3831) Bad night (762)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune

  (1-318): View more from Louisiana

  what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??

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  (318): dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune (1-318): what drug did you take to come to that conclusion?? http://tfl.nu/bym5
  Replies (80) Good night (4409) Bad night (849)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.

  (1-360): View more from Washington

  You win. Erica always eats cat food.

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  (360): Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal. (1-360): You win. Erica always eats cat food. http://tfl.nu/lw2c
  Replies (10) Good night (3978) Bad night (926)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.

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  (201): just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette. http://tfl.nu/20f3
  Replies (32) Good night (4963) Bad night (1051)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets

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  (514): he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets http://tfl.nu/d9we
  Replies (9) Good night (829) Bad night (5377)
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  (754): View more from Florida

  You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.

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  (754): You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm. http://tfl.nu/ypbk
  Replies (18) Good night (5021) Bad night (1223)
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  (562): View more from California

  the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...

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  (562): the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon... http://tfl.nu/do0i
  Replies (94) Good night (20981) Bad night (2116)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it

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  (678): He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it http://tfl.nu/jk9d
  Replies (18) Good night (9853) Bad night (1197)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously

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  (314): great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously http://tfl.nu/gl7l
  Replies (10) Good night (850) Bad night (2439)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.

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  (304): Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea. http://tfl.nu/ejed
  Replies (6) Good night (2613) Bad night (782)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.

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  (309): Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror. http://tfl.nu/0k0h
  Replies (2) Good night (791) Bad night (483)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS

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  (480): COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS http://tfl.nu/rprl
  Replies (4) Good night (716) Bad night (370)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy

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  (330): I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy http://tfl.nu/vj29
  Replies (4) Good night (787) Bad night (343)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.

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  (541): Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops. http://tfl.nu/zikq
  Replies (4) Good night (298) Bad night (384)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm high. ignore me

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  (847): Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble (847): I'm high. ignore me http://tfl.nu/bcd2
  Replies (1) Good night (657) Bad night (175)

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