ya dads aren't the best wingmen
youre lurking in front of me
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I lost the right to judge tonight
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE