yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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