I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
