I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize