I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
should my penis look like a turkey
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
