I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
