Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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