Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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