that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
