so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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