My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
