drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
