We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
