Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
