i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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