physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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