Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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