So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
