i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
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