Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize