i just wanna soil my oats bro
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
