As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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