We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
