I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
