im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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