You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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