i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Randomize
