everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
