Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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