I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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