where am i from again
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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