Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
