I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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