would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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