people are starting to question the shark bite story
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
