If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
