you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sick fucks of a feather flock together
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize