i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
