Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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