I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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