there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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