I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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