Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just pynch a tree in the face
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Semen is not good for contacts.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
