if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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