thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
