Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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