the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
