oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I got her a Nickelback box set.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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