he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
