What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
