Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize