I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
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i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
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Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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