oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
