I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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