Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
