you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
