did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
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The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
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I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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