Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
